The Truth About Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: Stop Confusing the Two and Reclaim Your Power
- Laketta Willis
- Oct 23, 2024
- 3 min read
Photography By: The Art of Po Photography
Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem—Know the Difference and Take Your Power Back
Truthfully, we all experience seasons when our self-worth feels nonexistent. You know those times—when you look in the mirror and can’t even recognize the magic within yourself. When your sense of value gets clouded by life's circumstances, it’s like the world suddenly becomes dark and terrifying. And let’s be real—nobody is immune to those moments. (If they say they are? Sis, they’re lying.)
But here’s the thing: the magic is still there, waiting for you to reclaim it. Sometimes you just have to pause, breathe, and remind yourself that your value never left—it was just hiding beneath the surface of life’s messiness.
Self-Worth vs. Self-Esteem: Let’s Get It Clear
For the longest time, I thought my worth was tied to what was happening around me—whether my job was going well, if people liked me, or if I was achieving my goals. Spoiler alert: I was so wrong. That’s not how self-worth works. And to keep it real, many of us mix up self-worth with self-esteem, not knowing the difference could cost us our peace.
Self-Worth = Your Unshakable Foundation
Self-worth is unconditional. It’s the love you have for yourself simply because you exist. It’s not tied to achievements, relationships, or what others think. Whether you’re winning or facing setbacks, your self-worth stays intact. Think of it as a steady flame within you—it doesn’t flicker just because life gets messy. Nobody and nothing can take your self-worth from you—unless you hand them that power.
Self-Esteem = The Emotional Rollercoaster
Now, self-esteem? That’s a whole different thing. Self-esteem is tied to circumstances and other people’s opinions—it’s like a mirror reflecting how you feel about yourself based on what’s happening around you. One minute you're feeling on top of the world because you crushed that presentation, and the next minute, a little criticism has you spiraling. It’s shaky, unpredictable, and constantly shifting.
This is why relying on self-esteem to feel good about yourself is dangerous. When it’s high, life feels amazing. When it’s low, everything feels like it’s falling apart. The problem is that self-esteem can be manipulated by external factors. And let’s face it—other people’s opinions shouldn’t have that kind of power over you.
Stop Confusing Self-Worth with Self-Esteem
I’ll admit it: I’ve been there. I used to run myself ragged trying to please everyone—overworking, saying yes when I really wanted to say no, and letting boundaries slide left and right. Why? Because I thought maintaining high self-esteem meant I was worthy. I believed the approval of others would confirm that I was enough.
Girl, I was dead wrong. I nearly lost myself in the process. My self-esteem kept fluctuating, and because I equated it with self-worth, I thought my value as a person was doing the same. Once I realized that my worth was never dependent on how well I performed or how much people approved of me, my life changed.
Why Understanding This Difference is a Game-Changer
When you ground yourself in self-worth, you become unshakable. No longer will a bad day or someone’s negative opinion send you into a spiral. Your worth is intrinsic—it’s always there, even on the days you feel messy and undone. You’ll stop running yourself into the ground trying to gain approval because you’ll know you are already enough.
4 Ways to Build Self-Worth (and Stop Chasing Self-Esteem)
Set Firm Boundaries.When you know your worth, saying no becomes easy. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re self-love in action.
Stop Seeking External Validation.Your opinion of yourself should matter more than anyone else’s. Validate yourself daily—whether through journaling or affirmations.
Celebrate Small Wins.Recognize your efforts, even if they seem insignificant. Small victories remind you that you are enough, regardless of external achievements.
Practice Self-Compassion.Treat yourself like you would your best friend. When things go wrong, be gentle with yourself instead of harsh.
Sis, let me tell you—when you understand that your self-worth is untouchable, life becomes lighter. You’ll stop seeking approval from others and start living for yourself. Self-esteem will still fluctuate because that’s just life, but it won’t control your mood anymore. When you know your worth, no one can make you forget who you are—not even you.
So, next time you find yourself in a tough season, remind yourself: Your worth is non-negotiable. And if anyone—including you—tries to question it? Politely let them know that you’re no longer taking applications for opinions on your value.
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